Yes, hi, hello.
La Belle, here.
After my sister, The Badass Bunny, expressed her feelings (beautifully, I might add) on the Orlando shooting…Maman asked if I’d be next.
And, well, I graciously accepted.
A little about moi:
I am a straight female in a committed relationship with the man of my dreams. I’ve been a strong, vocal supporter of the LGBTQ community since before I really even knew what that meant. See, my very best friend in the entire world is gay. And, well, because of the way that whole thing works, he’s been that way since he was born. My mom and his mom were BFF in high school, so when I say he and I have been friends forever… I mean it. He’s one of a very small handful of people that I would, literally and actually, step in front of a moving train for. And we’ll be ride or die, best friends, until we’re old and wrinkly and he’s sitting there french braiding my hair until we walk hand and hand into the bright white light (dramatic).
When The Badass Bunny came out to me as bisexual when she was about… 13 I want to guess… it wasn’t surprising. I had a lot openly gay friends coming in and out of our house growing up, and I feel that fostered a safe place for my sister to be open with me. When she came out as lesbian to me a couple of years ago, we laughed because what came next at, almost the same time, was her saying “Not that you couldn’t have guessed…” and me saying “Nothing I didn’t already know.”
We laughed. We hugged via text. And then we started talking about something else.
Because really… it’s doesn’t matter. I love and support my sister regardless of her sexuality because, well, it’s not really any of my business who she decides to smooch.
I can’t wait until the day when “coming out” isn’t a thing anymore. I never had to “come out” as straight.
Throughout my short time on this planet I’ve marched… I’ve fought… I’ve argued… and I’ve cried in an effort to help others see that gay people deserve equal rights. I’ve seen some victories… and I’ve seen some things that have shattered any hope I have for a possible future where we don’t have to keep talking about this. Where it can just be the norm. Where it just isn’t such a big deal.
What happened in Orlando hurt me, immensely. I woke up to the news and sat there, numb, next to my mom, and numbly watched CNN for hours. When they cut to Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti speaking live at the Gay Pride parade, that’s when the tears came.
I stayed quiet on social media for a while, something I don’t normally do (on social media or in real life… let’s be honest here). I didn’t feel the need to post “Pray for Orlando” or “I stand with Orlando”. Instead… I had individual conversations with my best friend… my sister… and those close to me to check-in… and see if they were okay.
But then… I started to feel a little guilty. I didn’t want to say anything until I had the right thing to say. I didn’t want to just shout into the void. And then, it hit me. I wrote this… and it made me cry. So that’s how I know it was the right thing to say.
I’ll warn readers now, there is some profanity below. But I won’t apologize for it:
I haven’t posted anything about Orlando because I didn’t think I needed to. I felt like my actions spoke louder than my words and everyone around me knew where I stood. But as the days pass, I find myself feeling a little guilty for not speaking out against the actions of that psychopath and speaking up for all of my people. So here it is:
I’ve been an ally of the LGBTQ community for as long as I can remember. It’s a community that’s always welcomed me with open arms with a loud and proud declaration of self. That was something I could so heavily connect with, and have continued to connect with to this very second. I’ve attended parades, marches, and vigils celebrating and will continue to support and love this community until I die.
What happened at Pulse Nightclub hit me deep. It felt like a gut punch. To think that my sister, my best friend, and the literal dozens of other incredible members of the LGBTQ community that I hold so, so dearly to me live in a world where they are targeted with such violence makes me so fucking mad I could scream. And you know what’s the worst part? I don’t know what the solution is. I don’t know if it’s gun control, I don’t know if it’s mental health, I don’t know if it’s radical Islamic terrorism. But what I do know is it has to fucking stop. We live in a beautiful world with so many beautiful opportunities and we cannot let these motherfuckers stop us.
So be loud. Be fucking proud. Be you. Live your best fucking life and make any crazed motherfucker that tells you your wrong regret the day they ever said it. Spread love. Fuck hate.
I love you all so much.