This is The Badass Bunny. I’ve been brooding over this Orlando Tragedy, deciding how to put my disappointment in this country, the fear I feel for my family in the LGBT community and the overall fear I feel for anyone who dares to be different into words. Fear is not a word that is in my vocabulary, as you can tell by my nickname. Sure, I’m scared of spiders, but spiders are usually small and inconsequential. They do not effect my life and haven’t harmed anyone that I know or are in my community. But, a few days ago, my life was changed because even though I was not in the Orlando night club where Omar Mateen committed his atrocities, I can feel the pain and fear reverberating through the emotions of my friends in the LGBT community and our allies.
My perspective is unique and limited to few; I am a gay woman. Growing up, all of the signs were there. I got to choose what I wanted to wear, and often times went with the more male centric options. I didn’t have boyfriends, I didn’t talk about boys and I was as quiet as they come. My following post comes from years of identifying as gay, and the hurt and experience that comes with it.
I hope you enjoy reading this, and get some insight into what it’s like to live as part of the LGBT community. Before you read what I wrote though, please read the linked article below. It is an open letter to Omar Mateen, and I think you will better understand my words if you read this persons words first.
June 13th, 2016
Today, I read this article, because today for the first time in my life I am afraid. I am afraid that this small, somewhat liberal town, holds the person who has some sort of vendetta because I did not get to choose who I love and is willing to show me what that vendetta means. Today, I decided not to go to San Francisco Pride for my birthday because I do not trust the world we live in.
So the thing I ask to Omar Mateen, and the other violent people like him, and the other homophobes out there is… Do you think being part of the LGBT community is easy? Simple question. Yes or no answer. I ask this because Omar and people like him intentionally hurt people, but they do not understand the daily pain these people face.
The answer is no. The answer is that in a world full of people, being gay means your dating pool shrinks. It means people you have never met already hate you because of something you can’t change. It means watching out and being ever vigilante because of those people who believe hateful rhetoric from militia groups, religious groups and other sources and are willing to show you their opinions through hateful words, violence and even just being shrugged off as an outcast.
So I ask you, regardless of whether you are gay, straight, bisexual. Read this. Read this and understand for a second what it’s like to feel the fear that the LGBT community do on a daily basis. Read this and magnify your fear by the 365 days that are in a year, and know the anxiety and fear that comes with just being who you are.
So now my second question I pose is… what are you going to do so that fear doesn’t have to exist for the people who can’t change who they love?